The other night I watched a movie set in the time of the middle ages. I was disgusted and upset before the movie was over. Why, because of how the men treated or shall I say mistreat their wives. They were no more than slave, sex toys, or worse. One nun in the movie said there are three women these days, a nun, a wife, a whore, only the nun is truly free. When I started working with other men, it became clear real fast that most men have a problem with authority. Most men do not want anyone to tell them what to do, yet those same men want to order their wives around as if they were their property. This is not biblical and I challenge any Godly man to prove me wrong.
“Husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way.”
This scripture is telling us men that if we want our home to be place of Blessing and Godliness, we must Honer our wives the way God has commanded us to. Once when I was overbearing to my wife the father spoke to my heart and said to me, I don't like the way you are treating my daughter. Wow what an eye opener, my wife is God's daughter. If you do not have this problem I say praise God, and your wife is blessed. Yet there are still some men who need to learn to Lay down their live, their wants, their hobbies, yes and even themselves for their wife and family. if they do no they will never be the man God wants them to be and their wife and children will not have the husband and daddy that God planned for them.
As Robert Lewis says the "
- "The Top-Down Traditional Marriage" is not biblical.
- "The Fifty-Fifty Identical Marriage" is not biblical.
- "The “Side-by-Side Biblical Marriage.” is the only one that is Biblical.
In this marriage the husband is the Servant-Leader.
“He Himself being the Savior of the body. Husbands, love your
wives just as Christ also loved the church.”
Which means a cross in your life. The next line speaks of death, because Jesus died for the church.
“For this cause…(for this cause)…being the savior of your wife.”
The leadership style, though, is a leadership style that speaks to responsibility and sacrifice, because that’s what it means. The goal in mind is oneness. That is, that we might find a mutual equality and intimacy as I initiate this kind of leadership in our home. As I live for my wife, as I provide for her, as I take it onto myself to protect her in such a way that, not only can she work, if she wants to work, but she will have the freedom not to work, because of me. She can invest in our kids, and explore new worlds. As her “head”, I want to make that environment hers, as the responsible head who’s laying down his life for his wife. That’s my role. The goal in mind is to be one and it’s an awesome climb.
The effects on the marriage should be that it’s healthy; that it’s happy and that there’s harmony. No woman in this marriage should say, ‘I feel oppressed.’ No woman in this marriage should say, ‘I don’t feel valued.’ No woman in this marriage should say, ‘I don’t feel like an equal.’ In fact, every woman in this kind of marriage should say, ‘I’m free to be me. And it’s because my husband works so hard to make that true.’
Jesus blended leadership, and the business world is just now figuring it out. Two thousand years ago He said, “you want to know what the best leadership style is? It’s what I give to men in a marriage. They’re not to be boss, and they’re not to be a wimp. They’re to be a blend called ‘servant-leader.’” That’s what head means: servant-leader. And in a marriage, if you become too much leader, your wife’s going to feel oppressed. If you become too much servant, then you’re going to be standing around, waiting for her to tell you what to do and you’ll frustrate the heck out of her. " Lesson 19
I thank God for Robert Lewis because he was used of God to help me see that my responsibly to my wife is more than I ever thought, and greater than I would have ever done. Without the revelation of this truth in God's word, I might still be the overbearing husband that I used to be. It is my prayer that you men will be set free to be who God has called you to be, the servant-leader of your family and that you would put into practice what the words say.
“And grant her honor as a fellow heir – (as an equal) – in the grace of life.
Otherwise, your prayers are going to be hindered.”
Here’s another rendition of it in the way the Living Bible;
“You husbands must be careful of your wives, being thoughtful of their needs
and honoring them. Remember that you and your wife are partners in receiving
God’s blessing, and if you don’t treat her as you should, (there’s not only going
to be just horizontal problems – there’s going to be vertical problems.) You’re
going to be cut off from the very power and life of God to you.
Remember the power of God to be the man you are meant to be depends in part on how you relate to the woman who is your Wife, God's Daughter, your Rose, your Ruby.
“An excellent wife, who can find?
Her worth is far above jewels.